between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you win again, gameday.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize