There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
