i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You took a bar mat shot.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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