this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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