What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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