Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think I am morally bankrupt
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
