Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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