The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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