I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just wanna soil my oats bro
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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