We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
