My friends, they love my intelligence
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize