She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
