I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
