You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
