ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
from now on my penis is your penis
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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