so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize