Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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