i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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