omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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