she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize