Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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