she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
