i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
