I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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