My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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