I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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