i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
