i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
