Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
