This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize