I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
