Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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