I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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