Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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