Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Randomize
