Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
