Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
