if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
