I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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