Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
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I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
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Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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