if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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