Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
