Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize