Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
