I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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