So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
