My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
