I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
please come you make the beer taste better
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
