Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
