Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
