Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You left your phone here
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