***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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