I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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