you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Let's get the cat blown out
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
