Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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