I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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