Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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