apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Sorry about my life...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
